Back At It

Today I am going to sign up for the gym again. It is important for my health that I get back into aqua aerobics and today is the day!

All I want right now is a soda. I am downing water and not allowing myself to have even a sip of soda. I realize I must seem as if I drink tons of soda, but I don't. It's just that a few sips a day are ever so nice. It was never my intention to drink a bit daily though. The time has come for me to cut it out again...

Which brings me to sugar. Last year I cut out ALL added sweeteners for a couple of months. It was a major challenge, but ultimately it made it possible for me to lose 17 pounds. Now I am debating - can I lose weight without eliminating all sweeteners? My issue is I don't want to go on a diet and I'm not sure no sugar will be sustainable for me. Perhaps it is a good way to get back on track. Definitely something to consider.

Effects of Family

The following post was written approximately 12 hours ago. My fear and anxiety have kept me from hitting the "publish" button. Here goes nothing...

I have been wanting to write again for months, but something crazy has been holding me back.

My goal is to be totally open and honest in all of my posts. I want to be able to write about anything without fear, but, unfortunately, I can't do that. Here's why...

A member of my family has borderline personality disorder. This makes it so she has erratic emotional outbursts regardless of what I do, and I worry how me being honest online will contribute to her extreme moods. This is almost silly because my blog is anonymous and so small. However, I can't help but have concern. She cyber stalks people who have ever been close to her and maybe she has discovered my little blog along the way. The thing is, if she had found it, I'm 99% sure she would have mentioned it at some point. She would be so hurt that I created this and chose not to share it with her.

Well. I do want to write again. It might seem nuts on my part, but the idea of hitting the "post" button is making my heart pound...

Minor Setback

"Less than 1% of people with an injury like yours recover without flare ups along the way." - my back doctor

That does NOT make dealing with the current pain any easier!

I just needed to get that out!

In other news, outside of my back hurting, life is good. I have a husband who loves me, a few high quality friends who support me, and I'm learning how to be my own best friend.

June is Busting Out All Over

Today is the first day of June. I have decided to really focus on losing weight again this month. In March and April, I did a great job of exercising and eating healthy daily - it became routine! In May, I continued to eat well, but was not as consistent with the exercise. This week, I've been exercising again and it feels great! So, I am back on track to make June my most successful month yet.

Here are my goals:

*Continue to not eat sugar

*Water aerobics five times a week

*Cardio before or after pool

*Drink lots of water

*Post daily progress on Twitter

This all seems totally doable and I am pumped! Feel free to join me in making June the best month yet and let me know how you are doing! Together, we can do this.

Tippity Tap Tap

In honor of National Tap Dance Day, the amazing Nicholas Brothers. Enjoy!

Snoozing Whilst Typing

My sleep cycle is completely and totally out of whack! ARGH! I hate this with a passion.

Two nights ago, I was up past 4 am. This is not good, nor is it healthy. That whole next day I wouldn't let myself rest with the hopes I would sleep well that night. And boy did I. Like 10 hours or something amazing. Then we get to last night and for whatever reason I couldn't sleep again.

What's up with that (Cue SNL music)?

Tonight's goal = sleep!

In other news, I recently finished training for an incredible volunteer program. It's something I've wanted to do for years. Basically, I get to help a youth who is a dependent of the courts. I once knew a girl who told me her volunteer from this program was "the only consistent adult" in her life. After she told me that, I knew one day I would be sworn in by a judge to advocate for teen.

I'm so tired. Must stay awake til a normal hour.

Tonight So You Think You Can Dance premieres. I love love love this show. Yes, I love it so much it warrants 3, now 4, loves. My question is how can they do a competition show with only one night a week? When will the contestants be eliminated? I just hope they know before they've learned a new dance and practiced for a week. Hmmm... Can't wait!

By the way, "they" say that sleep is one of the most important things for weight loss. Since losing weight is one of my top priorities these days, it would be really nice if sleep would happen. Thank you.

One last thing... I got a PSVita! I am absolutely adoring it. Awesome purchase.

Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries

I disappeared. I apologize. Life became so great that I stopped thinking about the computer!

My focus on my health - mind and body - intensified ten fold. The gym has become a regular part of my life, I have cut out all added sweeteners, and the true happiness I feel in my core is overwhelming.

I will make a point to add blogging back into my life.

In other news, I need a job! I am currently looking for employment and it's a crazy market out there. I think my new attitude is only going to make me more attractive to employers. Fingers and toes crossed something wonderful will happen!

Thanks for not giving up on me.