Musings about life, happiness, theater, and more.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Effects of Family

The following post was written approximately 12 hours ago. My fear and anxiety have kept me from hitting the "publish" button. Here goes nothing...

I have been wanting to write again for months, but something crazy has been holding me back.

My goal is to be totally open and honest in all of my posts. I want to be able to write about anything without fear, but, unfortunately, I can't do that. Here's why...

A member of my family has borderline personality disorder. This makes it so she has erratic emotional outbursts regardless of what I do, and I worry how me being honest online will contribute to her extreme moods. This is almost silly because my blog is anonymous and so small. However, I can't help but have concern. She cyber stalks people who have ever been close to her and maybe she has discovered my little blog along the way. The thing is, if she had found it, I'm 99% sure she would have mentioned it at some point. She would be so hurt that I created this and chose not to share it with her.

Well. I do want to write again. It might seem nuts on my part, but the idea of hitting the "post" button is making my heart pound...


  1. Oh, EB! Sympathies. It was a person with BPD that sent me into psychology. I hope you continue to write and have an outlet.

  2. Replies
    1. Writing this left me with so much fear. It isn't healthy! Something has to change, and clearly, I can only change myself. Working on it.